Life is always changing, even when we don't want it to. These changes require us to transition and adjust. However, sometimes when we experience a significant life change, it can be much more difficult to make those adjustments. Major life changes can happen when you get married or divorced. Perhaps when you become a parent. When you start a new job or lose one. A life transition can be a significant medical or health issue. Or, after losing someone close to you. No matter what the change, when you deal with a major life transition, you might need more time to adjust.
For many people, this can add stress to an already challenging time because of the internal sense of inadequacy you might experience in that adjustment process. Especially when social media is involved and you can compare yourself to how others appear, it's easy to feel insecure or feel like "you're doing it wrong."
It's important for you to know that you're not alone, and you may not be doing it wrong.
A New Normal Equals A New You
Getting training to deal with life is part of childhood. You learn how to handle feelings and situations as you grow up so that when you become an adult you can handle adult-sized feelings and situations. This can work for most people and in most situations. But, when there are significant life transitions you might find yourself ill-equipped or unprepared.
This makes sense, though, when you look at it from the perspective of life transitions. Changes move you into something new that you've never experienced before. All of a sudden, life is requiring something of you that you've never given. From this point of view, the life transition is like a new experience that may take you time and repeated effort to figure out how to handle it properly.
Not only that but as the situation changes, so do you. You might find yourself feeling, thinking, or responding differently than you're used to - and not liking what you see. The internal changes that happen during transition periods can often be much more alarming and challenging than the external situation presenting you. Figuring out how to cope and adjust your identity is a serious obstacle.
Thankfully, everyone else is going through the same thing. They might just be at a different point than you are, but chances are they've been where you are before and understand what you're going through. If not, there's someone else out there who has if you look for them. Find them and ask for support; it will help you carry the weight and not become isolated.
It's All A Matter Of Perspective
One of the biggest challenges of facing transitions in life is how unexpected and unwanted they can be. Despite the predictability of life's constant change, people prefer stability and consistency and we often resist these changes when they disrupt the good thing we have going.
To face this, it can be helpful to change your mindset about what's happening. Instead of viewing the situation as disruptive, if you remember this is part of life and therefore something you simply need to adjust to, your resistance goes down, and your acceptance increases. This simple shift in your thinking can help reduce the friction caused by the change and propel you toward resilience.
For example, if you're having trouble adjusting to married life, it might be due in part to the loss of independence as a single, the loss of solitude, the presence of new opinions, and an increase in conflict in life. Adjusting your mindset to expect these changes can result in accepting and rolling with the differences. Instead of dreading and resisting them, you might find yourself much more receptive and able to respond effectively.
Closing Thought: Consider Working With A Therapist for Life Transitions Tigard, OR
One last thing. When I face changes in life, I try and remember what it was like when the circumstances I am now comfortable with were new and scary. Back then, I was unsure about so much and felt overwhelmed. Somehow, though, I was able to work through it and found a rhythm that was comfortable for me.
With that in mind, I take that wisdom into my current transition and focus on one thing at a time, one day at a time. Focusing on more immediate things helps me create a new "normal" that I can be comfortable with and stay grounded through it.
When things are hard, remembering that this is normal can help, too. Give yourself compassion as you embrace how hard it is. It's hard, and you deserve kindness as you work through it!
Begin Life Transitions Therapy
Of course, if you want help getting through, book an appointment to start counseling for life transitions in Tigard, OR. Our team of caring therapists would be honored to support you in navigating major life transitions. We are happy to offer support in Tigard, OR, and across the state. To start your therapy journey, please follow these simple steps:
- Contact Discover Counseling
- Meet with a caring therapist
- Start embracing the new you!
Other Services Offered With Discover Counseling
Life transitions therapy isn't the only service we offer at Discover Counseling. Our caring counselors and therapists offer different types of therapy services to support your mental health. These other mental health services offered include therapy for anxiety, trauma recovery, life transitions, and postpartum support. We are also happy to offer teen therapy, Christian counseling, and codependency treatment. We also offer support for your relationship with premarital, couples, and marriage counseling. Plus individual therapy for relationship problems. Please feel free to read out blog or FAQ page for more helpful information!
About Aaron, the Author
Aaron Potratz is the owner and clinical supervisor of Discover Counseling in Tigard, OR. He is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Oregon providing psychotherapy and business consulting services in his private practice. Aaron often writes about mental health and relationship issues. He also hosts a weekly podcast called Shrink Think with his business partner, Nathan Hawkins, about facing fears and difficult challenges from a therapist's perspective.
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