How You Can Support Your Child When Starting Child Counseling?

As an adult, you expect it to take a few sessions before feeling safe to open up in therapy. Once you do, you might understand how it can take a while to identify the problem and make progress on it. Why is it that we expect kids to open up and make progress so much quicker? Why do we think kids should see progress in therapy after only a handful of sessions?

Children are so much more vulnerable than adults. They don't have the same ability to protect themselves like adults do. Naturally, they may be more guarded with a stranger - even with a skilled child therapist. To the child, the therapist is still just a stranger they don't know.

Furthermore, kids don't yet possess the ability to think critically like adults do. They cannot rationalize being open in therapy because they know it's good for them. If they are afraid or nervous about it, that's a hurdle that needs to be addressed first. You may be able to "force" yourself to open up in therapy as an adult, but you can't do this with kids.

What Should We Expect?

When you start child counseling, it's safe to expect it to take time. The child needs to feel safe with the therapist, get to know her, and have enough interactions to have a sense of who she is. All of this means the first several sessions will be a lot of relationship building. The translation for parents is this: it won't seem like anything is really happening!

The relationship-building process in the beginning is critical, though. If you try and skip this step, the therapist will be working against your child's defenses instead of partnering with them. Taking time to form a safe and secure attachment is essential to every healthy relationship, especially with children.

Once your child's therapist has a secure attachment, she can begin pressing into sensitive or painful areas of the child's life and self. Remember, though, that these are all new for the child and will always be exercises in trust. The child may always be testing the therapist's trustworthiness until they feel fully safe. This means that your child may temporarily exhibit some uncharacteristic behaviors that push back on those attachment attempts.

How You Can Help Your Child's Therapist for Child Counseling

During the first 6-10 sessions, it's important to give your child freedom and space to feel comfortable in counseling and with the therapist.

• First, normalize uncomfortable experiences.
• Next, reassure them that it can take time to warm up to someone.
• Finally, stay calm and avoid pushing too hard too soon.

Normalizing

Letting your child know that it's normal to feel uncomfortable in the beginning with a stranger can help them accept these feelings and move on. It tells your child that it's okay to feel this way, and they don't need to be alarmed. When those feelings arise in a session, the child is better able to move through them toward safety and openness.

Reassuring

Reminding your child that they have space to get used to their new counselor takes the pressure away. The child then has the freedom to explore this new relationship on their own terms. If you don't give them this space, they can feel forced to do something they're not ready for yet.

Staying Calm

Your reactions as a parent send messages to the child for how to respond. If you can remain calm about the situation, your child's body and emotions will relax. They will receive the message that whatever is happening is safe for them. If you push too soon, you will likely be pushing the child into fears and hurts that their body and emotions will react naturally to.

Taking your child to therapy can be a very good thing, but it does have its own challenges that you, the adult, will have to be patient with in order for your child to get better. If you need help getting started, book an appointment to start child counseling or teen therapy in Tigard, OR.

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Start Child Counseling in Tigard, OR Today

Our team of skilled Tigard, OR child therapists is ready to help you open up to self-discovery for therapy. Contact us today to talk about how we can help you start feeling more grounded and to schedule an appointment with one of our counselors. We offer both face-to-face (in-person) counseling sessions and online video counseling to residents in the state of Oregon.

More Therapy Services at Discover Counseling in Tigard, OR

Not only can we help with your child's counseling needs, but we can also help navigate difficult life transitions. Especially, the grief and loss we are all feeling right now! This is an especially difficult time for engaged couples and couples on the brink of separation or divorce. Also, for pregnant, postpartum, and parenting couples. Basically, everyone is facing some type of stressor right now. Please let our therapists help you navigate this difficult time.